writersguide

The prospect of squeezing romance writing into a life that includes family and a full-time job can be daunting. Yet hundreds of writers manage it. Try the tips here that match your writing style, work life and personal needs.

Is It in You?

Take a moment and take stock of how badly you want to succeed at writing. Of course, you need a genuine passion for writing—a drive to share your ideas, explore characters and issues, to create, to contribute something of yourself to the world, to make readers laugh or cry—something that burns in you. But you need more than that. You must buttress that passion with discipline. Discipline will keep you at the computer even when time constraints, worries, family crises, exhaustion or just plain laziness threaten to drag you away. Passion and discipline are something all writers need-whether they write all day or just on evenings and weekends. If it's in you to write, trust me, you'll find a way.

Grass Is Greener

The first rule is, don't envy full-time writers. They have their own dragons to slay. It's amazing how attractive scrubbing shower gout can be when a plot point won't work out right. Some multi-published authors who quit work to write full-time report being no more productive than when they were squeezing writing out of a full workweek. The old axiom is accurate: Work expands to the time allotted. Isn't it strange the way errands you manage on the way to or from work take all day when you're on vacation?
Harlequin author Patricia Knoll puts it this way: "While working full time and raising four children, I wrote from three to about six a.m., when I had to start getting the kids ready for school. Then I collapsed into bed at 10 p.m. Fortunately, I come from a long line of insomniacs, so this schedule didn't kill me. I wrote and sold three books during that time. I guess that's one of the reasons I don't have much patience with people who tell me they'd write a book if they only had the time."

Tick, Tick: Take a Hard Look at Time

    Let's FACE it, a full-time job and family and social commitments take a big bite out of your day. You have to make time for writing. So, first take a look at how you really spend your time—daily, weekly, monthly. Your task is to find slack time, set time—use priorities, then maybe make small sacrifices.
    If organization is your downfall, you might start by getting expert advice. Buy a book, audiotape (for playing on the way to work), or even a class on time management (funded by your company because it will make you a better employee), and glean ideas that will work for you—for the kind of person, worker and writer you are.
    Hopefully, you'll find enough slack time to be able to write. But sometimes, it's not enough. So, next look for comfortable sacrifices you can make. Some ideas:

Get up two hours earlier or stay up two hours later.
Give up your favorite TV shows and use the time to write.
Stay off the phone with talkative pals—use quickie e-mail to stay in touch.
Pay (or bribe) someone to do housework and yard work or lower your standards for both.
Forgo a vacation trip.
Carpool to kid events with willing mothers; write on the off weeks.
Calendar play dates for your children if you can't write when the kids are home.
Cook less, do low-fat takeout more; opt for frozen foods; invest in fast-cooking cookbooks.
For Heaven's sake, stop ironing if you haven't already (wear only permanent press or send out your laundry).
Reduce hostessing or social obligations or schedule them at non-writing times; use phone or lunch dates to keep up with friends.
Encourage "daddy nights" where the family goes off to a ball game, out for pizza or a movie, leaving you home to write.
Take writing seriously. Think of your writing as a "second job," requiring regular hours that you establish. Gently help family respect that, too.

Squeezing Time Out of Work

    If your job gives you flexibility enough to write during work hours, you're lucky. I don't have that option, but when I can spare a lunch hour, I do short-term things—ask a cop about investigation techniques, interview an expert over the phone, or meet with a critique partner for lunch to puzzle out a plot crisis. Some writers write over lunch or stay late or come early to work to write. Kensington Precious Gem author Dale Ketcham puts a pillow in the backseat of her car. "At lunchtime or breaks, I dash out and delve into my writing, research or reading."
    Harlequin author Sharon Swearengen does some of her best initial writing at work. "When a lot is going on around me, it's actually easier for me to set up new scenes. I don't know why, but it works for me—maybe because I have to concentrate harder. Luckily, I know shorthand ( my mother always told me it would come in handy!), so I can get a lot down quick, then I take it home and type it up."
    Kensington author Diane Schmidt believes writing every day is important. "Always stay in it, even if it means using lunchtime, coffee breaks or early mornings or late nights. Just write!" She brings a printout of what she's worked on at night at home to the office and edits it over lunch. "That night I return to my computer and work on the notes/editing I did during the day. This usually takes me right back into the manuscript and away I go."
    "I guess I find the hardest part about writing while engaged in a full time job is trying to make the transition between the two," she explains. "Sometimes the writing is an escape from the stresses of work and sometimes I can't concentrate on the writing due to my mind still being at the job. But I do find that when I edit during my working hours, I see the manuscript in an entirely different light. Probably because at work I'm in a logical/practical state which makes for a extremely productive editing session. And the other reason for keeping my writing constantly by my side is simply the fact that writing keeps my perspective constantly in check. How can I possibly get bogged down in work when my heroine is in some kind of sticky situation, or is about to engage in a wild romp with the hero? Impossible."

Working on Weekends

    Harlequin Special Edition author Laurie Schnebley, on the other hand, works only on weekends. I find I work harder, faster, better in longer chunks of time—and the longer the better." Here's how she does it: "Starting Friday at five, before I leave work, I re-read where I left off and try to type at least a few paragraphs into the next section before heading for the computer at home. All Friday evening, all day Saturday and all day Sunday, I write. (Maybe I'll throw in a load of laundry if I'm feeling ambitious.) But during the weekend, I also schedule one fun thing—lunch with a friend, a shopping trip, hiking with my son—just something to get me away from the computer (twitching and blinking) and remind me that yes, I still have a life.
    "Usually by Sunday evening I'm completely wrapped up in the story and exhausted, which makes it a mixed blessing on Monday to go back to the relative peace and quiet of work at an advertising agency. If I'm delighted with what I've done during the weekend, I'll work on it Monday evening—but by Tuesday, the muse is completely gone. During the rest of the workweek, about all I can do is ponder any tricky parts while waiting in traffic. I think of it as marathon writing...I know some people have better luck doing however-many pages each workday, but I do better with a weekend blitz.
    "For the last two books, I took some vacation time to write and was astonished at the exponentially greater output. The best, fastest section I've ever written was done in a Las Vegas hotel, where I wandered with my laptop from the lobby to the sports bar to our bathroom at midnight...and now whenever I re-read those chapters I can see the setting where they were written.
    "Whenever I finish a book, I take a few months off to recover from the five months of No Free Time Whatsoever, usually vowing that I'm never again going to put myself in such a situation. But so far, I've always turned around and put myself right back in such a situation..., which means I don't have any right to complain about being overworked! Somebody asked why I never gripe about the pressure of deadlines, and I realized the answer is that writing books is something I've chosen for myself. It's not sometime I do to make a living—that's what my weekday job is for. So I can complain all I want about the pressures of the ad business...but romance writing is what I do for fun. Which I need to remember next time I'm agonizing over some uncooperative scene!"

All Time Isn't Equal

Remember, you're looking to buy time, but not just any time. To write, you need to be creative, insightful, clever, energetic and patient. It matters little that you can drag yourself out of bed at three a.m. if you can't think your way out of a paper bag at that time. You're just wasting good sack time. You need quality time to write. Some writers block off days or times as sacrosanct. Others manage a catch-as-catch-can approach. It's what works best for you in your life. Don't fight your nature. But, remember, you can teach an old doll new tricks—train yourself to write productively in an hour, increase your attention span, etc. Practice the habit you want to establish and you'll get there.

Carpe Diem...A Key Skill

Seize the writing moment, too. The best skill I've gained is the habit of writing at my designated writing time no matter what—even if I've been up half the night before with a sick child, am enduring killer cramps, just got a rejection, or quarreled with my (mostly) dear husband. Writing time is writing time.

Getting in the Mood

If you write after work or have an otherwise hectic life, you'll need to develop some writing transition activity. You must create a writing mindset—give your body and brain cues that you'll be writing soon. Some writers use the commute home from work to think through their current manuscript. Others seclude themselves after dinner, take a quick walk or a hot bath. Other techniques:

Engage in brief, invigorating exercise.
Perform a yoga posture that gets blood to the brain, relaxes, calms or energizes.
Read a few pages in a romance that is so good—or so bad—you itch to get at that keyboard.
Do an easy writing task—rereading or proofing yesterday's work, drafting a letter to an editor, transcribing notes, researching on the Internet.
Tap a friend to cheerlead, nag or cajole.
Set page quotas with writing partners or a spouse.
Read over your writing goals, or that lovely judge's comment on your latest contest win.

More Key Tips for Maximizing Writing Time

Enlist the help of spouse and children if you can—ask them to help you talk through story lines, solve plot troubles, brainstorm. They feel part of things and are less likely to feel neglected when you're hunched over a keyboard for what seems like forever. Reduce social phone time—use voicemail to exchange facts or make dates. Let the machine take calls while you're writing and return them after you've met your writing quota for the weekend.

Limit e-mail and participation in Internet writer listserves and bulletin boards. These can be extremely valuable, but can eat into writing time. Some writers allow themselves e-mail only after their day's writing quota is complete or stop e-mail altogether when they have a deadline. Remember, the best skill-builder is writing, writing, writing. Guard your writing time like gold.
When you can interview experts as part of your workday, do it.
Carry around an easy writing task—proofing, light revisions—for long waits at the DMV or doctors' office.
Use a mini-tape recorder to draft stories or craft queries. They're cheap, easy to use one-handed (while driving even). Even better, transcribing your notes can ease you into another writing session.
Support your local RWA chapter, but when you're building the writing habit, limit involvement to one activity or part of the year. It's too easy to trick yourself into believing doing things about writing is the same as writing. On the other hand, some non-writing tasks will improve your writing. Exchanging manuscripts in a critique group of equally skilled writers is the fastest way to get a leg up on selling. Critiquing helps both the submitter and the critiquer.
Be curious every day. Don't miss a chance to do research with interesting people, jobs and settings.
If you can afford it, buy a laptop. I carry mine on planes (two batteries and five hours to D.C.—whee!), on vacations, to my son's chest tournaments and soccer practices.
Train yourself to work in noisy environments and with interruptions. I work while my son plays Nintendo or does his homework, and my husband queries me about vacation plans. It's not easy, but it can be done.

Harlequin Superromance author Roz Denny Fox says she worked full time at a demanding job through her first eight books. During that time she wrote one book a year. "I'm an early riser," she says, "so I wrote in what I called the 'witching hours.' I'd start at 3 a.m. and write until 5:30 or 6:00. Then I'd shower and get ready for work. The year I did two books, I sometimes worked at night when I got home from work. In the morning, I'd use music as background and leave my work in the middle of a sentence. I also turned the music off. Then, when I went back to it, I started the music, which brought my thoughts of the time back. Crazy? Probably. But it worked for me. Then I worked part time though the next 3 books. That was easier. But I was almost more organized with my writing when I worked. Now that I write full time, I figure I have all the time in the world. But those deadlines sneak up."

Set Goals, Reward Baby Steps

Target a date by which to have a partial to a critique partner, to an editor, or to a contest. Make your goals modest at first, remembering your twin tasks of challenging yourself and encouraging yourself. Keep track on a calendar. Celebrate with a dinner out, a box of chocolates, a facial or massage—whatever floats your boat. Some writers keep a calendar and record hours they've written. Some set time or page quotas and track their progress.

Remember Why You're Here

Don't forget why you wanted to write in the first place. Keep your passion clearly in mind. Anything you do to help yourself write must also nurture the joy writing gives you.

A Balancing Act Is Not A Balanced Life

Sometimes you'll feel like a circus performer spinning plates that all threaten to crash to the ground at the same time—car trouble, a husband who wants some real romance, school projects to nag (help) your son finish, evening meetings, pap smears, haircuts, and visiting relatives. Try not to let that get to you. As in everything, balance is critical. Carve out writing time, but make certain you've built in family time, too. Be there—in the moment, in real life. You shouldn't need Cliff Notes to find out what happened in your life. When I panic over lost writing time, Kensington author Lisa Plumley reminds me that "the writing will still be there." That bears repeating. The writing will be there.

Believe It!

Sometimes that's hard. I live in dread that the muse will disappear, that I'll lose the writing habit or be too devastated by a rejection to keep at it, or that I'll burn out like a sparkler—pht! All gone. But time and time again since I started this journey four years ago, after every disaster or setback, I find myself back at the keyboard, turning my shoulder muscles into a rump roast of knots, writing another scene, crafting another chapter, helping two people reach a happily ever after. Sometimes your best-laid plans fail. I forgot the battery to my laptop the day I took my son and his friend to the park to play. Oh, well. I people-watched, dictated a story idea I'd been kicking around, then insisted the boys include me in their Frisbee game. If you watch for writing times, you'll find them. You just must be aware. And living life in full awareness is the best way to live. But be kind to yourself on this journey. It's not easy. But then what valuable thing in life is? Nurture the joy of writing. Build the discipline. You'll find a way to write and work and enjoy your life, too. And, yes, you can have it all!

Daphne Atkeson wanted to be a writer the minute she put fat pencil to thick-lined school paper. She's always juggled jobs—as a teacher and free-lance magazine and newspaper feature writer and now as a public relations person and novelist. Daphne lives in Arizona with her husband, her son and an occasional pet snake (but that's another story). In the past three years, she's written five short contemporary romances and is well on her way to finishing the sixth. Mostly, she tries to take her own advice about turn her balancing act into a balanced life. Getting Back Zack, her first published novel was a romantic comedy published in December 1998 by Kensington Precious Gem. Daphne would love to hear from you. Visit Daphne online at www.dawnatkins.com.